Make yourself happy

Is it being self centered or realistic? I look back at the memories of my childhood and I honestly feel for my mother. She sacrificed her happiness for mine and my brothers but was that truly realistic to do. I hear the stories about how even before we were born she put other people first and now in her late 40’s I urge her to forget about me and my brother and put herself first.

I see people sacrifice their happiness for so many things such as work, family, relationships and so on. Life is short, not saying you are going to die tomorrow but it is possible. Better yet when you are dying at 100 and you are like how did I get here it basically speaks to the same truth that life is short.

When flying on a plane and it’s going through turbulence you are told to put the mask on yourself before anyone else, why? Because how can you help someone if you are in the same predicament. The same goes for your happiness. How can you survive 40hr work weeks, troubled relationship, children, the basic trials and tribulations of life with out breaking if you don’t take time out for yourself.

Life is hard, and like most people you probably have so much going on where your time seems few. We sacrifice so much thinking when I reach this age I would do this for me, but what if that age isn’t reached. Better yet how do you know something isn’t going to pop up to derail that idea.

People to be happy you must do it yourself. Take a hour or a day or anytime you seem fit to take care of you. Be more than content with your life and live it. When you take care of yourself then you can truly take care of others. Why wake up one day and realize life has flash passed you.


Growing up I use to stare at the animals in the zoo. Gawk laughed and pointed at them too.

Now all grown up my vision is reversed. Behind these bars now I am a animal too. Guards walking by staring at me telling when I can talk shit and eat.

I wonder what the price of the ticket to stand and stare at me. Am I now that monkey that screams for a banana or the lazy bear who sleeps and eat or am I the beaten king of the so call jungle cause when behind bars how can you be…

When lights go out at a time define I realize my time is not mines. Lack of privacy, food you don’t want to eat men staring at you like your a piece of meat does not equal rehabilitation to me. I am just another caged animal for these guards to watch and beat.

Slavery in the new age only solace it condemns more than one race…. This Penitentiary is the zoo of my life…. Now I understand what the animals felt like.


Eyes open wide I see the travesty of my people… Niggas and bitches walking in the street instead of men and woman. Black is something proud to be despite how our society portrays us to be.

It’s sad cause most of us don’t see beyond the hate. Blaming white America for our dwindling state. One finger we point three points in our face. We need to wake up and work on our place.

We think we have made it but don’t realize we are still slaves if not to the penitentiary it’s to the system of things. We rather have $200 dollar shoes than house to call our own we rather sell drugs to one another than study to become someone better. Our men are locked up so our boys don’t know who they are are what they are suppose to do. Our woman so broken their left becomes their right.

We had decisions along the way and our past decided what was right and somewhere along that path we decided that a little past rock bottom is the new height.

People forgot where they came from not because they speak proper and make big bucks but because they look down and just don’t give a fuck. Rather give a dollar to a country you don’t know and talk bad about a brother who is from the same home. Forgot that the system we live in is not conducive to our growth that once you made it there is a choice to help another grow.

This is a call to arms not a war against race. This is to show black men and woman that we are not what society portrays us to be we are more than just this color of negativity. We are a canvas a masterpiece in the making.

Weakness is you

See… You play to my faults,
but live in my truths.
I suffer, but I’m alive.
Begging to be closer to you

My weakness is you.
It’s plan to see
that your touch
your voice
your scent still haunts me.

I tried to run
I tried to stay
But when happiness left it decided to never come back my way

My weakness is you…
I keep letting you back in,
but now you broke my heart.
Shatter it within
It’s broken uneven… jagged edges all around.

It’s hard to pick up the pieces when the cuts begin to amount.
With every drip of me I begin to grow weary…

In the end I see
I see—I see if I let you back in
that my weakness, my weakness, MY WEAK–NESS
will always be you for all to see.

Hear me!

Words are just words actions speak truth and what is seen will be interpreted despite the words you say cause my heart been turned off even before I started my day. I took a step back to add clarity to my eyes cause being up close cause blurs and lies….

I tried to be what I thought u needed and gave space to make sure that things wasn’t mistreated. New age don’t help situations in growth especially when both ends been burnt. Stay nice causes only hurt but one can’t be content with out the others consent….

Love is blind didn’t mean nothing to me until I met u but one thing they forget to say is love is def too…

Definition of insanity is to repeat the same thing over expecting a change so I guess the love I have for u is driving me insane….

See my words fall on def ear cause your lies appear to be truths so you are looking at me saying what’s wrong with you….

What you fail to see is that I am not blind def and dumb to you and for sure I never been mute my words have always spoken truth and this is my declaration to you.


Today is valentines day and yes there is this so called love in the air. Now I am not bitter I have a valentine and what not or at least she said she wants to be so keep that in mind.

Today is just another day nothing special. A true man will surprise you everyday with gifts of the heart if he thinks it’s true and a real woman would do what’s needed when shown the truth. However, in this generation there is a lack luster of both. You got boys claiming to be a woman’s man and don’t know what that means. Then you go little girls who say I am a good woman and quick to listen to words outside they relationship.

Now I know some real men some old some young but real men. A real man does three basic truths Protects, Provides, and cultivates. He takes the burdens of the woman he loves onto him self and continues about his day. A real man will do despite how she might be that day cause his love for her keeps him going. He doesn’t buy her or belittles he supports and encourage. Cause when she rises high they both do. Too many times I hear that’s my man and he does nothing but sit on the couch drive her car and fuck other woman. Woman real men have aspiration, dreams that he want to come to light sometimes all he needs is some support cause real men take so much onto them selfs he might grow weary.

Now men you think this females are the one but what they bring to the table. So what if she sucks dick and got the OD fatty. So what if a million people looking at her so you like my chick bad. I am not going to say she got to be able to cook and clean and what not, but come on ladies. However what I got to say is what else does she bring to the table. Woman back in the day use to help keep they man standing up strong. She is the other half that makes him whole. She is the balance in his life. She understands the big picture and keeps him focused. She brings certain virtues to the table that makes their relationship complete. She smart an strong and driven enough that if her man falls she can keep them going until he gets back up.

So today look at the other person a give that title accordingly if that’s your man then treat him properly. Don’t listen to the words of others cause it’s only y’all two. Now if that’s your woman act like it there are 365 days in a year not one when it comes to the love and gratitude you feel towards her. Most woman live a long complicated rough life. Listen to her respect her and help cause a real woman would return it back ten fold.

Coming Down Off You

Got to re blog this pure poetry

Erika Fuego & Soul Searching


One hit was all it took; you’ve got me hooked

And how could I resist once I know how it feels to feel like this?

All week I walk but tonight I fly

Higher and higher every time

My eyes rolling back, my jaw shakes, my body’s cold

I lost myself for a few moments

& may have misplaced my soul…

I think you may have it

Or maybe it was lost in the music

Overwhelmingly infatuated

My pupils’ dilated

These lights are bright but these corners are dark

You walked in the room and captured my heart

Take it, break it, do what you want

You seem just as love struck, what are you on?

Has my spell hit you yet?

Grab a lollipop, here’s a cigarette

I know your drifting in and out but you won’t forget

Come sit with me; let me massage your chest

Whisper in…

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Life through "my eyes" enjoy the insight